The Worst Has Happened-An Unemployment Update

So, here’s the thing. For months, I’ve been telling the husband that I would go on one of his crazy hiking/camping trips with him. But since I was working full time and always using my vacation time to fly back east to see my sister and nephews, I figured it would be years before we could sync up any vacation time. I thought I was safe.

And then I got laid off.

Ladies and gentlemen, the husband has asked me to go–oh god, I can’t even say it–okay, deep breath…the husband has asked me to go *camping*. He is really excited, and I am also trying to be really excited. It will be nice to take a trip together,  but you guys know how I feel about the dirt and the bugs and the outside.

The trip is the first week of October, so you guys have a month and a half to spam me all of your camping tips to make this more fun. I hate bugs, and I hate myself and my things feeling dirty, ESPECIALLY my hands. It’s a whole thing and I don’t know how to avoid it out there.

In the meantime, here are some things I have heard the husband say regarding the trip:

1.”I think we might go to Idaho, it’s beautiful there.”

car off road14 hours in the car? Really? Just to get to the camping part, 14 hours in the car?

2. “I’ll look for a campsite that has nice bathrooms for you.”

bathroomI’m concerned that we’re not on the same page about “nice bathrooms”. I think this looks like a nice camp bathroom, no?

3. “There’s a mattress pad that will make sleeping in the tent just like a mattress!”

bedAgain, concerns about the same page. This looks like a VERY rustic camp mattress to me.

4. “The B’s are going to have so much fun hiking!”

b'sReally? These two lazy motherf*ckers?

cubert toesThis one won’t get out of bed in the morning until he’s certain his breakfast has been prepared already;

eskaAnd if you try to take this one for a walk longer than exactly one block she prefers to be carried home, thankyouverymuch.

5. “Some days you can just read!”

hammockAm concerned that camping in Idaho does not include hammocking on the beach while reading.

So guys, that’s my news. Pls send help.

20 thoughts on “The Worst Has Happened-An Unemployment Update

  1. the britchy one says:

    Break a leg – no seriously! Break a leg or get a fake cast.. any friends any good with plaster of Paris?
    Join mother and baby groups on fb. Look for kids with chicken pox and visit.
    Scupper the car. Not in a mega bucks way, just pull a few leads or drain the battery etc.
    Is early onset agoraphobia possible?
    If all else fails – invent job interviews! Actually that might be the most sensible option which is probably also why it’s the last thing I thought of

    Liked by 2 people

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